When I was a kid it was real easy to impress me. My uncle would do some simple card tricks and I’d be amazed beyond belief, thinking that he had to have made a pact with the devil. How else could he do those tricks – they had to be some sort of witchery going on there. Once I saw an old man who was walking down the street. An old man walking down the street is not an event that is impressive in itself, but what he did seemed to make an impression on me that to this day I still think of and say to myself “wow, that was so cool.” As he was walking he suddenly stopped and without a care in the world took his index finger, covered one nostril and blew the biggest, wettest booger I’ve ever seen out of his other nostril. The booger was so big and fat that I could actually hear the splat sound it made as it smashed against the sidewalk. I know…impressive, right? As impressive as that sounds that was still not the most impressive thing I saw as a kid.

The most impressive thing I ever saw as a kid was something that my cousin, Burke did. His name is actually Anthony, but as long as I can remember we’ve just called him Burke. I think that’s his middle name, but I’m not sure as I’m not sure he’s not going to kick my ass for putting his first and middle name in my blog. Hey, at least I didn’t use his last name – hahaha. Burke was not the favorite grandkid in the family, that honor went to my other cousin, Rey Jr. but at the same time he wasn’t too far down on the favorite list, probably third after Ketha – who actually grew up to be everyone’s favorite, even surpassing Rey Jr. in that department. Anyway, Burke used to live in Arizona so he had a different view on life than we did, because we were all from Texas and when you’re from Texas there is nothing better than Texas. It’s true when they say that Texas is like a whole other country and if you ask any Texan they will agree that it’s God’s favorite country. How else would you explain Chicken Fried Steak, Tex-Mex cuisine and Nolan Ryan?

I know that when Burke came to visit I always felt like he was special, like the chosen Buddha successor. He was “the enlightened one” because he came from Arizona and he knew everything. I wasn’t jealous of him or anything like that, even though he was the good looking one who worked out and was so smart.

He proved just how smart he was at an early age. I remember that day as if it were a week ago. My Aunt Frances (who many years later would have to ride in my car on a wet seat) and my Uncle Joe came to visit, so we all ended up at my Grandparents house. They brought Burke along because the authorities in Arizona frown on leaving your little son alone when you go on vacation, they don’t care how smart he is. You just don’t leave a five year old alone when you go on vacation. Well for whatever reason, they brought him along and had him sit in the middle of the living room as we all gathered around him to see what he was going to do. It was exciting. I waited and waited, but all he seemed to do was look at us with a weird look in his eye. He looked away and just sat quietly for a while playing with his fingers.

My aunt spoke, setting up the show, “Burke learned how to say the days of the week in Spanish.”

And that’s when he began:

He looked up at us and stared with, “lunes.” He paused for a second, judging the reaction from the people around him. They loved it, so he continued. “Martes.” Everyone was smiling and he was eating up the attention. “Miércoles.” I had to give it to him. He knew how to work the audience. ”Jueves.” He stopped and I wondered if maybe, just maybe he had forgotten the rest of the days, but then just like saying ‘L-M-N-O-P’ in the alphabet song he said the last three days, “viernes-sábado-domingo.” He was a genius!

As he said each day in Spanish, I said the English counterpart in my mind, “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.” I didn’t know my days of the week in Spanish but I guessed he had said them correctly because he had mentioned seven days and my grandparents clapped at this astonishing feat.

I remember that at the time I thought it was the most amazing thing ever. I had never heard anyone say the days of the week in Spanish. I guess if I were to be honest, I was a little jealous of him at that moment because not only had he recited the days of the week in Spanish, but he had gotten the approval of my grandfather – something I felt I could never get.

He’s still a really smart guy, but I don’t feel jealously toward him anymore. I care about the guy and have come to care about him more as I’ve gotten older and wiser – hey, I can now recite the days of the week in Spanish too.