My Uncle Emilio just had his 68^th birthday party. It’s hard for me to believe that he’s actually that age. I remember when I was a kid he took us on a fishing trip. It wasn’t just any fishing trip, it was my first fishing trip. I hate to admit this but I’ve never been a great fisherman. It’s not that I get grossed out putting the worms on the hooks or anything like – it’s just that some people are fisherman and some aren’t – I’m not a fisherman.  I guess a part of it is that for some reason or another my parents let me watch horror movies as a kid and I hated to go near the water for fear of some million year old, boy eating creature would rise from the murky waters and drag me under where other million year old creatures would suck my guts out of my body much like the dogs in Disney’s Lady and the Tramp suck the spaghetti noodle from the plate until they almost kiss. I could imagine the creatures sucking my entrails until they almost kissed just like the cartoon – except without the Italian background music.

I remember all my cousins getting close to the water’s edge as they threw their fishing lines into the murky water. I figured that either all my cousins were either very brave or not very smart. I wasn’t sure which one. I do know that I was always the one who approached things with caution and I probably still do. Maybe I was too cautious for a kid. I don’t know why that was, maybe because I had just gotten back to the states from living on an Army base in Germany where we would constantly have bomb threat drills or be told to be on the look-out for anything or anyone that looked suspicious – so I may not have had too much trust in anything or anyone other than other military people in uniform. I also remember that I hesitated and took my time pushing the hook into the fat little worm body. I kind of felt a little sorry for the worm that I had drawn from the Styrofoam cup of worms we had bought at the bait shop down the road. 

“Eww…ewww…ewww…” I said as worm blood and guts squirted on my fingers. I didn’t feel sorry for the worm anymore, just grossed out by it. My cousins all turned to look at me and I looked at them. I didn’t want to seem like a dweeb, so I looked at them and corrected myself, “Oh, oh, oh look at that,” I held my fingers up for them to see. “Worm guts, how cool.” My older cousin Sara shook her head and looked at me as if I were stupid, then she turned her attention back to her fishing line. I wiped the blood and guts on my pants trying hard not to throw up.

I threw my line and it landed with a plopping sound at the water’s edge.

“Mijo, you have to move closer to the water.” My Uncle Emilio said as he guided me closer to the million year-old, boy-eating sea creature’s reach. “Eddie, get away from the edge, you’re going to fall in.” My uncle didn’t even look at my cousin Eddie. It was as if he had some sort of Daddy power that told him Eddie was too close to the edge.

“I’m not going to fall in.” Eddie laughed.  He moved closer to the edge.

I liked my cousin Eddie, but if he wanted to get eaten by the million year-old sea creature there was no way I was going to save him or even try to save him. I didn’t even want to be standing too close to him just in case the sea creature smelled him on the bank and decided to pull him in, so I moved over next to my other cousin, Emilio Jr. My cousin Emilio Jr was a big boy so if the sea creature didn’t choke on him, he would be taking a long time trying to chew him and I would have time to make my escape. It was survival of the fittest.  I silently applauded my genius reasoning.

I threw my fishing line into the water and it landed with a plopping sound near the water’s edge. I had just gotten back from living in Germany and had never been fishing in my life, so throwing a fishing line was not one of my best skills.

“You’ve got to flick your wrist.” My cousin Emilio Jr. said as he made a flicking motion with his hand.

“Ok,” I said as I jerked my fishing rod back so hard that the float and the hook flew out of the water and over our heads. I heard a stifled yell that sounded more like a little dog yelping else. We all turned around to see my Uncle Emilio standing behind us with my fishing hook caught near his right ankle. “I’m sorry.” I said. My uncle didn’t say anything he just gave me a quick look and then pulled the hook from his ankle. I watched as blood started to ooze out.

Almost at that exact moment there is a loud splash as my cousin Eddie fell into the water. He started thrashing around and I knew that the million year-old sea creature was already sucking out his guts. I had never before seen my uncle move so fast as he did at that moment – as a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve seen him move that fast since that moment. It was like he had become a superhero: Super Daddy to the rescue. He ran past us and jumped into the water ready to fight the million year-old sea creature. I saw him grab my cousin Eddie by the hair and pull him out of the water and throw him on the bank of the shore like he was a little kid’s doll.

My uncle climbed back on shore and lay on his back breathing hard. I was afraid he was going to pass out. He looked at my cousin Eddie and said, “I told you not to get too close to the water or you would fall in.”

My cousin Eddie simply said, “but did you see the size of the fish that pulled me in.”

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to scare him, but I thought to myself, “that wasn’t a fish, that was a million year-old sea creature and you almost got your guts sucked out.”