As I walked down the hallway the first thing I noticed was how hot it was. The second thing I noticed was the smell. I have to admit that it’s not unusual to walk into work in the morning and smell the stench of someone taking their morning dump in the restroom which is just way to close to my desk. Many mornings, as I walked quickly through the hall trying to hold my breath so I wouldn’t get that smell in my nostrils or my mouth, I would wonder who was so bold as to just walk into the restroom and blow ass like that.

I know that sometimes when you have to go, you have to go and it doesn’t matter where you are. You’re going to drop trousers and blow ass and there’s not anything or anyone that’s going to stop you. I’ve been there (when I ate Indian food with my brother), but the thing is that if I really have to go I’m not going to do it in the area where I work. I don’t want to sit there and smell it all day long, not even if it’s my own crap.

I know it’s bad enough when someone takes a dump in your work area, but there are also people who still stink up your work area by farting all over the place. There are all kinds of farting people in this world, some are just farters that will fart no matter where they are or what they’re doing – those are the ones that go in the public restrooms and destroy the toilets. There are those that think farting is fun so they make it into a game and either try to fart something like the ABC’s or they ask their friends and family members to pull their thumbs and then fart when they do and they will laugh about it. There are the accidental farters who will be laughing or coughing and a fart slips out. This happened to a lady at work one time and I just could not stop laughing – I know, I’m evil. There are the ones who will stink up a room and claim it wasn’t them because they never fart.

 I’ll admit that I’ve farted a few times in my life, but I usually try to keep it confined to the bathroom or to my own bedroom. Those are like my “safe fart places” I mean everyone farts in the bathroom and my bedroom is my “Fortress of Solitude” so I can fart in it if I want. I bet even Superman farts in his Fortress of Solitude. I won’t fart in my car though because I don ‘t want to drive around in it and I won’t fart inside my work place – I will fart outside (why you think I take so many breaks?)

I’m not like the person who was in the restroom at work getting rid of some serious gas when I walked into the building. As walked down the hall I couldn’t believe how bad it smelled. No human could have made that smell. The thing that really got me was that I was down the hall and there was a door between it and me, yet it still burned my eyes and made my stomach turn. As I got closer to the restroom door the smell got stronger. I almost called security to make sure someone hadn’t fallen in there and died because it was so bad. As I got to the door, it suddenly swung open and I heard a voice say, “Hi Tony.”

I was surprised because I was standing looking at one of our young, petite, female audiologist. She was not who I expected to walk out of the restroom. I responded with a “Hi” and kept walking because now the door was open and the smell was escaping and I didn’t want to stand there and smell it if I didn’t have to. As I walked away I thought to myself, “Whoo, hoo, she should get some kind of trophy for that or something.”