Most mornings when I go to work, I’ll walk down the hallway and I’ll be thinking about what has to be done for the day, such as morning reports, meetings with the bosses (you can see some my notes from those meetings on my facebook page), and then suddenly it hits me. It’s a smell so horrible that at times I wonder if something actually crawled into the clinic over the weekend and died. I’m a rational person so I know that the odds of something or someone actually crawling into our clinic and dying are pretty slim. As much as I hate to think of it I know where the smell Is coming from. It’s coming from the restroom down the hall. I just got a new desk in a new cubby – as cool as that sounds it’ s not really a good thing. It’s a bigger area from where the boss had me before but the bad thing is that now I’m a lot closer to the restrooms and for some odd reason it seems like a lot of the people that come into the clinic want to use the restroom. It’s pretty bad because they seem to leave the restroom smelling so bad that even with the door closed you can still smell it. I have to admit that It’s not just the patients who use the restroom and leave it smelling bad, a lot of the times it’s our own co-workers.

I’ve seen co-workers come out of the restroom and then I walk in and I get bitter beer face like in the commercial and yell, “woo, hoo, hooo, hoo!”

Once I see a co-worker come out of a stinky restroom I find it hard to look at that person the same way again. I just can’t see them the same way after they blew ass in the restroom. I’ve seen attractive women come out of there and then when I walk in I smell the perfume they sprayed so their farts wouldn’t smell. I can’t believe that they really think the perfume actually covers the smell, maybe it does in some alternate world, but the truth is that no matter how expensive or how inexpensive the perfume is - it does not cover the smell of farts. The only thing that does is make it smell like flowers and ass, which are not a good combination if you ask me.

I know there are times that you have to go, but no matter how bad I have to go I always go as far away as possible from where I work. I don’t want to sit at my desk and smell my own farts or poop smell. I usually go to the big hospital building on the other side of the parking lot because they have a single restroom that has an industrial toilet, so no matter what you drop in there it’s getting flushed.

Maybe I should post a sign asking co-workers, especially that person who takes a dump early in the morning, if they could try using that restroom.