The next blogger to do a guest post is my friend Michael from The Badass Geek. Michael is a talented writer who writes about everyday life and makes it so funny to read. I admire and feel a little jealous at his writing ability. Since the first time I read his blog, I’ve felt a bond with Michael that I can’t explain - it’s like we were cut from the same cloth except he ended up with more talent and better able to express himself that I ever could. His blog is truly one of the best out there - check it out and you’ll see what I mean.

Like thousands of other young boys, when I was a kid I dreamed of having superpowers. I loved the fact that superheroes were normal people. They could be your neighbor, your high school janitor, or your mailman, but when duty called, they risked their lives for the sake of others. I wished so badly that I could have superpowers, too, but I could never decide on what superpower I wanted.

Choosing a superpower always seemed like a permanent thing, like a tattoo. Once you picked the one you wanted, it was a done deal, no do-over’s. My friends argued that having the ability to fly would be pretty cool. Being afraid of heights, I disagreed. I preferred the idea of invincibility, which was convenient considering I was (and still am) one of the clumsiest human beings on the planet. The thought of never getting hurt thrilled me… until I got to thinking about all the other super powers out there.

Having super strength would be pretty awesome. So would being able to move really fast! And to shoot lasers out of my eyes! And long-distance hearing! There were so many options, so many possibilities. Whenever my friends and I would play pretend we’d have to pick our one superpower, but I would get too greedy and opt to switch in the middle of the game. My friends would switch their power, too, and it eventually got to be so confusing as to which person had which power that we just sort of threw out our imagined rule book and just went with it. So what if there were two of us who could shoot bullets from our eyes? It just made the game that much more interesting.

When Tony asked me to write a guest post about what superhero I’d be, I made sure I put a lot of thought into it before I decided for sure. This is an important decision, after all. This isn’t a Vegas wedding that could be annulled once the hangover wears off. After many hours of careful thought and deliberation, I finally came up with who my alter ego would be if I was a superhero.

They’d call me The Enforcer. My superpower? The ability to know when trivial and often-overlooked rules are broken. My costume? I picture something like how Neo looked in the lobby shoot-out scene in The Matrix.

Did you return your library books late through the overnight drop-off slot to avoid paying late fees? Fail to come to a complete stop before making a right turn at a red light? Leave your cell phone ringer on during a movie? Better watch out for The Enforcer.

If I was The Enforcer in real life, I’d be a busy guy. There are so many small rules that get broken every day where I’d be hard pressed to find time to be anything else but my superhero persona. I think I’d eventually become so burnt out by being overworked and underappreciated that I’d give up and resign myself to sitting at home, watching courtroom dramas and drinking root beer.

In the end, I think it’s for the best that I don’t have a superpower. It’d be a lot of responsibility and obligation, and I just don’t think I possess the chutzpah. It’s a good thing there are people out there like the characters in “Kick Ass” to make the world a better place.