Be Careful What You Wish For

I couldn’t have done the “Kick Ass” guest blogs without asking Ian from Idiot’s Stew to do a guest post. Last year he asked me to participate in what I hope will become a yearly event, his Turkey Palooza. I was thrilled that he asked me and happy that I participated because through the entire time we were in contact Ian was very supportive and showed me just what kind of guy he is. Be sure you check out his blog Idiot’s Stew and you too will see how smart and what a good person he is and you will be amazed at what a great writer he is

Thank you Ian for the guest post

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Be Careful What You Wish For

By: Ian from Idiotts Stew


There’s no work for super-heroes anymore unless you consider circus-side-show-freak a viable career (and Zero certainly does not). But that’s what happens when you commit yourself to a goal and work like hell to achieve it; eventually you work yourself right out of a job. Zero tried to explain it to the dumbasses down at the Hall of Justice; tried to tell them to cool it. “We have to pace ourselves. If we wipe evil off the face of the earth, who are we gonna fight? What will we do with our days? How we gonna get paid?” But they wouldn’t listen. Wonder-Woman held all the political cards back then; she had the real super-power. Being able to fly and see through walls with x-ray vision doesn’t mean much when you are up against a large-breasted Amazon chick in a spandex leotard and gold lamet go-go boots. The horn-dogs did everything she commanded and they competed with one another for her attention until all of the villains were defeated. And then came the lay-offs.

Zero’s pension keeps him in beer and cigarettes. He “fills” his days now with TV and memories. He’s out of shape and his powers are faded. He recently attempted a simple “turning-back-of-time” (one of his trademark tricks) and completely exhausted himself without so much as getting one second back. If he could, he’d spin this earth all the way back to the days when there was bad for the good to battle. That’s when life made sense. That’s when there was balance.

Still, he believes he could make a comeback if he was given the opportunity and a membership at Gold’s Gym. He maintains the service on his hot-line phone, just in case.

Zero steps out of his travel-trailer home and into a sandstorm. Sixty mile an hour winds have brought the brown blizzard to the north end of the Coachella valley again. Inhaling deeply, Zero feels the dirty needles tearing at his throat and lungs. Generally speaking he can take 2 or 3 full breaths before his windpipe closes off and the hacking begins. Eventually he’ll be vomiting and up will come bloody dirt and the mornings’ toasted peanut-butter sandwich.


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Posted by Tony at 3/5/2010 12:00 AM
Categories: Oasis Comics,John Romita Jr,Guest Bloggers,contest,Mark Millar,comic book,Kick Ass,comics
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