Last year, the tough guy from work and myself went to the 2008 Mr. Olympia Bodybuilding Expo. It was my first time at the expo and it was such a great experience that right afterwards we decided that the following year we would be going again. As a matter of fact we were so inspired by all the bodybuilders at the expo last year that we decided that the following year we went we were going to be buffed and muscular. We started off well, going to the gym and doing cardio

The first week the tough guy asked me, “did you work out?”

I answered, “Yeah I worked out and did cardio too.”

The second week the tough guy asked, “did you work out?”

I answered, “Yeah I worked out but I didn’t do cardio this time.”

The third week the tough guy asked, did you work out?”

I answered, “Uh…I didn’t really have time this week. It was a crazy week.”

The fourth week the tough guy asked, “did you work out?”

I answered, “No, but I passed the gym on my to McDonalds”

The fifth week the tough guy didn’t ask me anything.

This year we had a pretty good walk from where we parked to where the expo was being held. As we were walking I could feel myself feel a little winded. I told the tough guy that I really needed to get back in the gym because I was already starting to feel myself breath harder. To be fair though, I think I may have had the beginning of a cold because even now I’m still fighting off a cough and congestion, but at the time I didn’t know it. After a little bit, even though he won’t admit it, the tough guy was breathing just a little harder. I brought that up and he said he wasn’t breathing hard - maybe for next year’s expo we’ll get into better shape.

I used to think that bodybuilders in general were short little guys, but when I walked into the 2009 Mr. Olympia Bodybuilding Expo it was like walking into the land of giants. There were lots of bodybuilders, both men and women who were at least my height and quite a few that were taller than me. One of the biggest guys that I saw there was this guy:

At first when I came up to him I was like a little kid, just kind of wide-eyed and slacked-jawed. “You wanna an autograph?” the giant said.

I shook my head answering “no” but my mouth said, “yes” and like a little kid waiting for his baseball hero I waited as he autographed a picture for me. As I watched him sign his name I thought to myself this guy is not human…he’s a mutant. He handed me the picture and I asked him if I could take his picture. He flexed so I took his picture.

There was something about this next lady that really stuck me as beautiful - I don’t normally think that a woman who could body slam me is attractive --- wait a minute, yeah I kind of do, especially if she looks like Michelle Rodriguez. I don’t know, maybe it was her muscles or the fact that she was so dark, and I don’t mean that in a bad way, but the fact was that she was really dark made her muscles really stand out and I guess I liked that. Maybe she reminded me of dark chocolate and everyone knows just how much I love dark chocolate. I don’t know, but something seemed attractive to me about her. She was standing with some friends and every once in awhile someone would come up with a camera and ask to take her picture. I also noticed that while she talked to her friends every so often she would just turn, flex and someone would take her picture. As I walked by she flexed so I took her picture.

Not all the women were bodybuilders, some were just in very good shape. I don’t know what these girls were giving samples of - I don’t think most of the men that lined up at this booth knew or cared what they were getting as long as it came from these women. They could have been giving out coupons for 75% off a vasectomy and the men would have taken them with a smile.

but of all the girls I talked to at the expo this one was the one that seemed the hottest to me, not only because…well, she’s hot, but because she was so freaking nice. She was so nice to me that I was ready to give her my first born if she had asked me.

When I was a kid my grandfather would love to watch wrestling on television. I used to get a kick on how he used to cheer his favorites on and yell at the screen. As I got older I realized that it was just entertainment and it just didn’t seem to hold the same magic as it did for me when I was younger. There was one wrestler that I thought was cool, even after I got older - that was Stone Cold Steve Austin. He was this larger than life character on TV and for some reason seemed real. What I mean by real is that I had the feeling that if I ever met him in real life he would be exactly like he was on television, so imagine how I felt when I turned the corner and there he was sitting at a Muscle and Fitness booth signing autographs.