By: Marty (one of Tony's non blogging friends)

I'm painfully aware I'm a freak.  I'm a square peg in a round hole.  No one loves me and many people just plain don't like me.  That may seem dramatic, but its the truth.  This has been the status quo since all my life, with the exception of late junior high through the first round of college.  I'm not sure why, but in late junior high I was brought into a group of friends that I, for the most part, keep in touch with to this day.  They're still my friends, but not "stop by the house, telephone just to chat, have a beer with" friends. 

Here are some examples:  I didn't have sex from 1988 until 2001.  What normal American spends nearly their entire twenties through their mid thirties never having sex?  I have a bachelor of science degree and one year of graduate school, but I work as a laborer.  For years I smoked cigars, not just one or two, but five a day and I inhaled.  I lived in a mobile home for twelve years, and frankly, it was dump...I loved it...but it was a dump.  And some would say worst of all, I love shopping at the dump.  I thought I finally had this part of my freak show under control, but after meeting a kindred dump groupie a few weeks back, I stepped over the line and took home dump-found clothes.   Yes, I've been wearing them regularly.  Last year I dragged home four gas grills, re-habbed and started using two of them.  Last week I brought home a dam nice frying pan and and a fine rolling pin.  I bleached out the rolling pin, last night, and might give it a nice sanding today.  From my perspective, I'm being thrifty and eco-friendly, but I'm not so blind I can't see what most others think of dump scavenging behavior.

Socially, I thought I was making great progress the last few years.  I've learned to hold back on "inappropriate comments", particularly in the workplace, and I'm no longer hesitant to approach women.  That may seem contradictory and, in practice, may be contradictory.  At my last employer, I would often hang at the Sunrise Hospital's Oasis Cafe...a great people watching place.  For weeks, maybe months, there was a group of African ladies that would smile and glance over at me.  Occasionally, they would make innocent, yet suggestive, stretching moves in front of me.  They looked Ethiopian to me.  One day I finally walked over their table, taking it to the next level, I thought.  I asked them what language they were speaking.  One of them gave me a dirty look and said "Its an African language."  Look, I'm not a right-wing nutjob, if they're speaking Arabic, I'm not blaming them for worldwide terrorism.  Anyway, my new found forwardness has meant I've met and dated a number of great women.  Unfortunately, many of them learn to really despise me.  I'm saddened my this, but life goes on.  Because of this new found forwardness, I'm now accused of being a playa.  I wish I was a playa, but the truth is I haven't know anyone, biblically, since 2007.

Well, I could explain all of this...but that will have to wait till next time!

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I'm going to start this off by saying my friend Marty is a smart guy who finds hummor in many things. He doesn't have a blog and after reading this post I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. He's a very funny guy and althogh he doesn't blog he does have a facebook account which I'm sure he'll add you to - especially if you're a Hot woman.