One of the things we always do when we go to El Paso is we visit the zoo. Now, I’ve never been to the zoo here in Vegas but we do have one. I’ve heard it sucks because it doesn’t have many animals. One of my friends claims that it has a rooster, a snake, and a dog but he wasn’t sure if the dog belonged to the zoo or if it was just wandering around visiting with the rooster. The El Paso Zoo has lots of animals including elephants, sea lions, alligators, wolves, monkeys, etc. My niece and nephew go so often that they know the names of almost all the animals in the zoo - it’s pretty funny to hear them tell us about the animals as we go by the exhibits. My niece will tell us the name of the animal and what kind of animal it is and anything else she may have learned about the animal during one of her many trips to the zoo.

As I said, we go to the zoo every time that we visit, and this trip wouldn’t be any different. The plan was to take the kids to the zoo. The only difference about this day and all the other days that we’ve been there before is that usually my brother or my sister-in-law will go with us. This time my mom and I decided that we would take the kids to the zoo while everyone else was at work. My mom said she knew how to get to the zoo, so I agreed to take the kids.

We each loaded two kids into the each vehicle - I had the two boys and my mom had the two girls. “I don’t know how to get there, so I’ll follow you” I said as we pulled out of the driveway. I guess my mom must have thought she was still driving in Vegas because the first light we got to - the light that lead up to the freeway - is the light that she ran as it went from yellow to red. I was left behind at the red light with a “what the heck just happened“ look on my face. I called my mom on the cell phone. “Hey mom, you left me behind. I’ll still at the red light”

“I’m on the freeway.” My mom said, “The traffic isn’t so bad, you can catch up. If not then just follow the signs the zoo. It’s not that hard to get there. Follow the freeway and turn where it say’s El Paso City Zoo.”

I hung up the phone. I was a little mad that I was left at the red light, but what can you do? I followed the traffic onto the freeway. I drove and drove looking for the zoo sign, finally I saw it. The zoo was two exits away I started to move into exiting position, you have move into exiting position a long way before the exit because the drivers in Texas or at least in El Paso are even worse than the drivers here in Vegas. Someone told me it was because in Mexico you can drive anyway you want because they have no traffic laws and most of the drivers in El Paso come from Mexico - I’m not saying that’s true, I’m just saying that’s what someone told me. I got into the exit lane and prepared to make my exit. I exited the freeway and saw another sign that said “El Paso Zoo Next Right” so I drove looking for the next right. This was going to be a lot easier than I originally thought. I drove on the freeway past a huge cemetery.

“Look,” my six year old nephew Cris pointed the cemetery out to my two year old nephew, “that’s where they keep the dead people.”

“Why?” My two year old nephew asked.

“Because they’re dead and you have to keep them somewhere.” Cris answered. I pretended not to hear the conversation.

I called my mom, “I saw the sign but I can’t find the zoo.” I said, “you shouldn’t have left me behind. I don’t know where I’m going.”

My mom answered, “well, I don’t know where I’m going either. I think I missed a turn somewhere.”

We both continued to drive and I made the next right and ended up at the Fort Bliss gate. I made the turn and started back the way I came. I called my mom again, “Mom, I don’t know where I’m going. I ended up at Fort Bliss.”

My mom answered, “Well, I’m in Juarez right now.”

“What? Juarez? Like in Juarez Mexico?”

“Yes,” my answered. “Let me ask the boarder patrol how to get to the zoo. I’ll call you back.” She hung up and I continued to drive until I saw a sign that said “El Paso Zoo last two lanes on the left” The only problem was that I was on the side street and had to get back on the freeway, so I made a turn, then another turn and one more turn so I was back on the freeway going the right direction.

“Are we going to the zoo?” Cris asked as I maneuvered into the last lane on the left.

“Yes, I’ll get you to the zoo.” I said. I was starting to believe that the signs in El Paso are wrong. They have to be. I followed everyone and did what they said to do, but I still couldn’t find the zoo.

“I think we’re just driving back and forth. I should have gone with grandma.”

I called my mom again. “Where are you?”

“We’re heading toward the zoo. Did you ask at the base how to get to the zoo?” My mom asked me.

“No” I’m a guy and we don’t ask for directions.

“Ok, from where you’re at just follow Piasno (sp) street and that should take you right to the zoo.”

“Ok” I said and hung up.

I drove on the freeway and saw the Piasno exit, but then I saw the zoo exit which was the next right, so I ignored my mom’s directions and took the zoo exit. I was driving and drove over the cemetery and heard my nephew say as we passed it “I have a bad feeling about this” Now he was spouting Star Wars quotes - I didn’t know if I should be proud or worried about that.

I drove until I ended up at Fort Bliss again. This time I asked the guy at the gate how to get to the zoo. He told me to go back around the freeway and get of on Piasno and that would take me directly to the zoo. I thanked him and started to follow his directions which were the same my mom had given me a few minutes earlier. I guess in the end mother’s are still right. We finally made it to the zoo and everyone was happy. Life was good, animals were seen, overpriced hot-dogs were eaten, and souvenirs were bought, but for some reason as we were about to leave the zoo everyone climbed into the car with my mom.