My six year old nephew is a small, skinny kid who would eat nothing but bacon for every meal if you let him. He’s a very picky eater. He will not eat anything that is red, I don‘t know why, but he will not touch red food. He will have spaghetti without sauce, cheese pizza minus the sauce and he will not go anywhere near ketchup. I’m sure he’ll grow out of this. I used to have weird food ideas, including my own thoughts on ketchup when I was a kid and I outgrew them.

When I was a kid, I remember that I used to love ketchup because I used to pretend that I was a vampire, but not one of those crying, whinny, sparkle in the sun, Emo Twilight vampires. I used to pretend that I was one of those tall, handsome vampires that would look into the beautiful girl’s eyes and make her fall in  love with me before I bit her neck. In reality I was a little chunky kid who loved garlic too much to be a vampire and who ate way too  much ketchup on my food.

Well, getting back to my ketchup hating nephew, he’s a skinny kid, but he’s cute as hell and I’m not just saying that because he’s related to me. If you ask anyone that knows him they will say that’ he’s cute, handsome, adorable, etc… and he has a way with people. I think that he gets that from my mom and my sister. When you meet him, right away you can’t help but like him, so in school everyone like him…well, everyone except one kid who happens to be the biggest, meanest kindergartner in the whole history of kindergarten kids. Just for this post we’ll call the kid Max because as far as I know there aren’t any kids in my nephew’s class named Max.

Well, Max is a bully who not only has messed with my nephew since the first day of school. He’s messed with every kid in the class - pulling girl‘s hair, pushing kids, hitting kids, etc. I hear that Max is so big and mean that even the second graders are afraid of him. You know you’re big and mean when the second graders are afraid of you.  I’ve heard lot’s of Max Tales - how Max threw the ball at my nephew or how he came up and hit him on the back. The one time I was really surprised was when my nephew came up to me and asked, “Do you have some money I can take to school?”

I asked him why he needed money because his lunch was paid for the month. I knew that it was paid because I paid it for him. We pay his lunch at the end of every month so he shouldn’t have to take money to school for lunch, he can just go to the lunch room and pick out what he wants until the money runs out. “you don’t need money, your lunch is already paid.”

“Well, if I give it to Max then he won’t take my lunch away.” I was surprised because not only was Max a bully he was an extortionist too. I’m sure his parents would be proud to hear that their son was a kindergarten extortionist. We’ve talked to the principal about this and other parents have also filed complaints on Max, but it seems there is not much that they can do other than keep him from school for a few days and then once he serves his time he’s free to come back to school and do whatever he wants until the next parent complains.

“Don’t give him your lunch or any money” I told my nephew.

“Can I give him my lunch when we have pizza because I hate the sauce?”

“No, don’t give him anything.” I almost laughed but I’m the adult and shouldn’t be laughing.

“but he’s going to hit me.”

“He’s not going to hit you.”

“Ok.” my nephew looked at me with doubt on his face. “If you say so.”

The next day we get a call from my nephew’s school. “I’m calling from Cris’ school. Your son was in a fight”

“Huh?“ I had to ask. “Are you sure you got the right kid? Cris is a skinny little kid that doesn’t fight with anyone.“

It seems that Max hit my nephew in the back again, but this time my nephew turned around and hit Max right on the lip. I guess my nephew felt the charge of power because he hit Max again. I have to remember to give my nephew the “with great power comes great responsibility” speech from Spiderman.

The lady who was on lunch duty at the time told us that she couldn’t believe that  little, quiet, nice, never messes with anyone Cris had Max on the ground and was beating him up. She said it wasn’t bad enough that Cris was beating Max up, to make things worse there is a little girl who has had a crush on my nephew since school started, so when she saw Cris fighting, she jumped in to help him and started kicking Max the bully as he lay on the ground with my nephew on top of him hitting him. Max didn’t do anything except cry as everyone cheered my nephew and the little girl on.

When my sister heard the news she was naturally upset and was going to punish my nephew by taking away his favorite toys and grounding him for a long time, possibly until he was old enough to marry his partner in this fight. I told her that I don’t like the fact that he was fighting, but it was something that has to be done otherwise he was going to be bullied for the rest of year or even for the rest of his elementary school years. I told her that years from now Cris and Max will probably become good friends and they’ll laugh about this “remember when I beat you up and Shelly (not her real name) jumped in and kicked you?”

I had a long talk with my nephew and told him that I didn’t like that he was fighting and that he should never , ever throw the first hit, but if he gets hit he needs to protect himself. I tried to be the firm with him, but at the same time a part of me was proud of him for standing up to the bully and beating the bully. In the days since the fight, Max doesn’t mess with my nephew or with the girl that was kicking him either and he’s actually started to be nicer to everyone, especially to my nephew. I really do think that one day they will end up as good friends - that’s what happened with me and my bully a long time ago.