A peanut butter sandwich, but please hold the crust
I took my lunch to work. Although I don't eat them as much as I used to, I still like a good peanut buttersandwich for lunch. Today, I woke up late, took a rushed shower and then took my time making a peanut butter sandwich for lunch.
I just happened to go to lunch at the same time as one of the prettiest girls went. We sat outside on a bench enjoying our lunch - she with her cold lunch meat sandwich and me with my peanut butter sandwich. We were talking about things that weren't really important when I just happened to look over at her and noticed that her ear had crusty stuff inside it. I tried not to look but it was like driving by the scene of an accident, no matter how hard I tried not to look I couldn't help it. I looked right in her ear at the crusty stuff and my mind went "Eeeeewwwwwww!!!!"
While we were out there I tried to stay focus on the conversation, but it was like I could hear the crusty stuff calling me. "Tony, look at me. You know you want to."
My eyes darted back and forth trying not to look at her again, but again I couldn't help it. I stared directly at the crusty stuff and then my mind went into rapper mode.
She's so hot
with a body that won't stop
(back-up singers "H to the O to the T - she's so hot")
She's so fine
I wanna make her mine
(back-up singers "I wanna make her mine...mine...mine")
She's got it all
It's crystal clear,
but Eeeewwwww she's got crusty stuff in her ear.
(back-up singers "crusty stuff in her ear...ear...ear)
...and that was the highlight of my day.
Love the crossover from sandwiches to ear wax.
I noticed you followed--thanks for following.
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And all this time I thought you were talking about the crust on the sandwich...yea, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...
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i lovvvve peanut butter! that being said, ewwwwww ear crust! i think it's hilarious that you couldn't stop staring or even concentrate on the conversation because of it. lol
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*laughingtoohard* Tony, you have not failed to disappoint. That was hysterical! And have you tried grilled peanut butter sandwiches? Awesome!
And, your comment about the exhaust port? Right on, man! Had me laughing and scratching my head. Thanks!
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See, people like you only reinforce my paranoia. Stop being so dammed observant. Can't any of your fantasy girls just remain pretty? Must they always fart or have nasty ear crust?
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@Chris - I've had you on my sidebar (the blogs I read every time I get a chance) and thought I was following you before, but now it's official
@Sal - I think I may have done the same thing when I first saw it.
@nonna - does that make me superficial?
@Irish Gumbo - thanks for the kind words. I will have to try them grilled. Does grilling them kill off the Salmonella?
@Ann's Rants - reinforcing paranoia in beautiful women is part of my charm
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I'd be scared to meet you Tony. But you do make me laugh.
Yes, I've succumbed to your 'charm'!
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I tend to do that to women - either scare them, make them laugh, or both.
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So tell me... What record label is releasing the "My Life As I See It" soundtrack?
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I'm on a peanut butter (and jelly) sandwich kick right now. I've had one for lunch everyday for a month or so.
Ear crust and something in their teeth.....both impossible to ignore, no matter how much you try. (You can probably also add nose boogers and large zits, now that I think about it.)
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@Badass Geek - hahaha...uh...I think that's funny, right?
@Jen - I just had a person come to my desk with thick hair sticking out their nose and in that hair was a booger - I was hopping that he wouldn't breath out too hard and send that flying toward me.
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