We were walking on Freemont Street when this guy walked up to us. He was a skinny guy who hadn’t changed his clothes in a long time and had not had a bath in an even longer time. He’s twitching a bit as he walked up to us. I could tell my cousin’s wife was just a bit nervous, as the man started talking to us. I try not to judge people, so I’m not judging - I’m just giving the facts. His body odor was strong kind of like a mix of old gym socks, urine and funky armpit smell, but even so, it wasn’t as bad as his breath. I hate to say this, but his breath was really bad, worse than I’ve ever smelled in my life and I’ve smelled some pretty bad breath in my time.

“Hey man,” he said to my cousin. “You wanna buy some stuff?”

My cousin recoiled from the man as his breath hit him square in the face. “What you got?” he asked.

His wife looked at him with the “I’m the wife and all major decisions have to go through me - oh you’re so in trouble when we get back to the hotel” look. “Why would you even ask him that?” She asked as she moved back a step from the man. “Let’s just go.”

My cousin looked at her and said the funniest thing I heard that night. “Sometimes crack addicts have good deals on stuff.”

I didn’t even want to know where he got that idea from, but the statement made me laugh.

As this little exchange was going on the “crack addict” reached in his pocket and pulled out a little plastic bag with something wrapped in toilet paper. He took the paper and began to unwrap it. It was my turn to take a step back. I wasn’t really too anxious to see what was inside the toilet paper package. He unwrapped the object and placed it in the middle of his palm. We all looked down at it.

My cousin’s wife asked, “What is it?”

My cousin answered, you could tell he was disgusted by the tone of his voice. “It’s a piece of shit”

We all jumped back when he said the word “shit”

The “crack addict” said, “It’s not a piece of shit, it’s a nugget of magic dookie.”

I don’t even know who said, “that’s disgusting” but I agreed. We started to walk off as the “crack addict” continued to follow us trying to sell us “a nugget of magic dookie”

“If you keep it in your pocket you’ll always have good luck.” He poked it with his finger, “See, it’s hard like a rock.”

I don’t think so - he followed us all the way to The Fitzgerald casino, where he was stopped by security. As we walked away I could hear him ask the security guard if he wanted to buy a nugget of magic dookie.

Maybe this is one of those stories they are talking about when they say, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” - but hey, in a city full of strangeness, one strange encounter in a weekend is actually a good thing.