It seems like I attract the strange and the unsual, that's something that started way back when I first moved to Vegas. I remember that on my first night in Vegas I learned my first "Vegas lesson," which is nothing is what it seems and most things aren't real. It was late at night - my cousin, my brother, and I were walking down Fremont Street when we heard a woman’s sexy, raspy voice call out, "Hey boys."

we all turned in unison and watched as a woman who was walking on the other side of the street waved at us. The first thing I noticed was a very large white hat with a broad black brim that was cocked to one side on an equally large blond woman. My mind told me to run as the woman made her way across the street, but I’ve been known not to pay much attention to what my mind tells me to do. As she crossed the street she seemed to grow bigger and bigger right before our eyes. Thinking back on it now all I remember was a large black and white checkered dress billowing out across Fremont Street. It didn’t take long for the women to cross the street and catch up to us. As I stood face to face with six feet two inches and three hundred pounds of woman I cursed myself for not running.

She looked down at us and smiled a really weird smile as she played with her black scarf. She gave us a smile that I imagined a snake would give a rat right before swallowing it whole. I watched fascinated as she wrapped her long black silk scarf around a large white gloved hand, then unwrapped it, and re-wrapped it again. She did that over and over as she started telling us about her big room at The Plaza. She then ran her hand all over her body and said, "all three of you boys can come up to my room because I'm more woman than one man can handle." At that moment I think all our eyes were transfixed on her Adam’s apple as it moved up and down with each word she spoke.

I looked at my cousin and said, “maybe you can go 'cause you can handle a lot of woman." I watched as the woman adjusted her hat and knocked her wig back to reveal wisps of thinning brown hair. "You can handle that", I stammered.

At that moment I knew I was going to die. I was either going to get killed by a very large man dressed in a giant black and white checkered dress or my cousin was going to kill me on the spot.

My cousin looked at the woman then at me and said, “I lost all my cash in the slot machines." Then he just turned and walked away.

I looked up at the woman, smiled a goofy smile, then took off running after my brother and my cousin. I was afraid to look back because I thought the woman would be following right behind us reaching out with a gloved hand trying to catch me. Finally I couldn’t help it anymore. I looked back at the "woman" who stood on the edge of Fremont Street waving at us as her dress billowed out against the neon lights.