I like peanut butter. I mean I really like peanut butter. I mean I really, really like peanut butter. Well, I really, really like chunky peanut butter. I don’t like the smooth peanut butter at all. I think that I have eaten a peanut butter sandwich for lunch for three hundred out of the past three hundred and sixty-five days. This morning as I was making peanut butter sandwich number three hundred and one for lunch a strange and disturbing thought hit me; I thought that maybe I don’t want to eat peanut butter. My mind began to have a little internal dialogue with itself. It went something like this:

“Are you going to eat another peanut butter sandwich for lunch?”

“Yes, I’m making one. Aren’t I?”

“Don’t you want to branch out and eat something different?”

“No. I like peanut butter.”

“But you can’t like it everyday. It’s not good for you.”

“I don’t care. I still like it.”

”That’s your problem.”

”What?”

”You’re afraid of change.”

”You get that from a peanut butter sandwich?”

”No. I get that from the fact that you eat a peanut butter sandwich everyday. Every morning you wake up late, take a rushed shower, and then take your time making a peanut butter sandwich. Not only do you not like change, you’re afraid to face challenges. You take longer making the sandwich than you do getting ready for work.”

”I’m not afraid of anything, and I don’t take longer making my sandwich than I do getting ready.”

“Yes you do. You have to spread the peanut butter all the way to the very edge of the bread.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m afraid of change or challenges.”

“Yes it does.”

“You’re crazy, you know that. Don’t you?”

”Hey peanut butter breath you’re holding a conversation with yourself and you’re calling me crazy.”

”AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”